The art of Tantra and how it can save your relationship

The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart.” – Josiah Holland

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One of my friends came to me for relationship advice the other day. I’m single, so how could I help her? I can see both sides of any situation. I know what girls want and I know what guys want.

If you’re thinking to yourself that your relationship has lost its spark, or you’re bored of doing the same routine in the bedroom; you’re in a rut. So what can you do to fix that? Let me tell you about Tantra.

Tantra, according to David Gordon White, is the Buddhist and Hindu body of beliefs and practices of the concrete manifestation of the divine energy that creates and maintains the universe and seeks to channel the energy in a creative and expressive manner. Basically, it’s a powerful energy exchange.

Historians estimated that Tantra originated around 600 CE and grew between the 9th-14th centuries where there was a power change in India that lead to a rivalry in the kingdoms. This movement led to the formation of schools and helped spread Buddhism through the Silk Road.

Tantra in the west
Popular authors brought Tantra to the Western world by the 60s. As interest grew, it is now seen as ‘spiritual sex’ where it’s believed that sex should be recognized as a sacred act elevating its participants to a higher spiritual plane.

The Western Tantra teaches slow intercourse that increases intimacy and a mind-body connection that can lead to powerful orgasms. In a sense, you dissolve into one another.

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I attended a seminar on the Tantric Practice of Deep Connection at the Sexual Awakening Centre last night. There, I met Viktoria, a sexuality and relationship coach and a transformational counsellor. She enforces living in the present and being mindful of your inner self and your surroundings. “We as humans must be able to connect physically, mentally, energetically, intellectually, spiritually, sexually, and emotionally.”


I was partnered with a girl named Zoe. We had an incredible connection throughout the process and shared warm, happy, positive energy. We did an eye gazing exercise and I felt like I was staring into her soul. We weren’t even touching each other (our hands were a couple centimetres apart) I felt energy coming out of her hands and into mine. I felt fuzzy, calm, and at peace. My eyes shifted at one point and saw her complexion become lighter. Then, Viktoria wanted everyone to release and come back to our centre and close our eyes. All I could see was a white light inside of me. I was relaxed, grounded, and complete; it was very interesting.


Eyes are the windows to your soul
You can look beyond someone’s appearance, but what’s inside, is your soul, the flame. When ignited, it is one of the most powerful sources of energy.
Now, I know some of you might think that this is lame, or it won’t work; give it a chance. It’ll take you to a place of ecstasy that you never thought existed.


Try this eye gazing exercise with your partner:

  • Face each other (fully clothed) and gaze into each other’s eyes. Focus on their left eye with your left eye, then think of a word or a feeling you want to send them (happy, warmth, excited, etc.)
  • Synchronize breathing- breathe in together and exhale together.
  • Hold hands or let your hands almost touch.
    Do this for about 5-10 minutes and see how you feel.

Now, try this in the bedroom without clothes. Once you feel a shift in energy, work your way to touching, kissing, and foreplay until you progress into different sexual positions. Don’t forget to maintain eye contact. Over time, you will be able to develop the ability to prolong your orgasm; you remain at the peak of pleasure without climaxing, which can last for many minutes or even hours.


It’s unfortunate that we tend to forget to focus on our partner. A relationship works two ways and not one. Both should give the same amount of effort, if not more, in order to receive and build a solid framework. If we all implemented Tantra in our day-to-day lives, our relationships and pleasure will intensify. The deep breathing connection creates a heartfelt level of intimacy, allowing you to feel closer to your partner. The slow pace will bring you more pleasure and satisfaction enabling your practice to further beyond a typical orgasm.


I met a couple last night that has been married for over 20 years. They meditate together, have grandchildren, and have just discovered the power of Tantra. Listening to the feelings they felt after each of the exercises was quite intoxicating. To this day, they still share that same raw passion they first felt as newlyweds. They’re madly in love with each other and I wish them all the best.


Now, I challenge you to sit or stand in front of a mirror. Place your right hand over your heart and look at yourself in the mirror. Stare into your soul through your eyes for a few minutes. Don’t over think this. What do you feel? What are you trying to tell yourself? Let me know, I’d love to hear what you have to say.
~ PG, xo.


Click here for further information on Tantra Tuesdays at the Sexual Awakening Centre.

  • Smith, Brian K. (2005), “Tantrism: Hindu Tantrism”, in Jones, Lindsay, MacMillan Encyclopedia of Religion, MacMillan
  • White, David Gordon (ed.) (2000). Tantra in Practice. Princeton University Press.
  • Urban, Hugh (2003). Tantra: Sex, Secrecy, Politics, and Power in the Study of Religions. University of California Press


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